And so it begins...

Well I hoped that I would be that one rare case of breast cancer who didn't lose her hair....

I've known all along that I would but have been praying that I wouldn't lose it all. However, the thinning has started. Even being careful doesn't help much. Because of how short it is now I have to use more "product" than I ever have in the past to style it just the right way. It is the styling part that I see just how much is falling out....I put the product in my hair, take my hands out and look to see that my hands are covered in my hair.

I'm finding it upsetting, there was no way to prepare myself for this even though I've tried. I know in a few days after I've had it shaved off I will feel better but that seems like years from now. It is these times that I find it hard to stay positive....I remind myself that it is just a part of the treatment that is going to cure me but it is still hard.

I was hoping that blogging about this would help, I'm sorry to report that it's not working this time....I do have to remember that there are worse things in life, but I just can't think of what they are right now. Maybe I'll just make Paul tell me a joke so I can forget about it for a short time.

Sadly there is more on my mind than my hair tonight....something totally unrelated to my cancer. Someone we care very deeply about is in our prayers tonight, that's all I'll say about that for now....we love you!

It's getting late and I know I won't be getting much sleep tonight with so much on my mind...usually I find that reading lulls me in to sleep but I can't focus on the page enough to read. My eyes are heavy and sore but my mind is not tired, I can close my eyes but I won't sleep, at least not restfully.

I should at least try....good night.