Surgery is looming....

Well....it's almost here....surgery. I don't know how ready I am, but really how do you prepare for this?!? I try to imagine myself without but, of course, it's difficult to imagine being without something that's been attached to you your entire life! But....if I don't do it.....Forget that, I don't want to think what could happen if I didn't do it!! So here we go, under the knife.

I have to be at the hospital at 6:30 am and my surgery is booked for 8:30 am. After surgery I will be in the recovery room for about an hour and then I get sent home! Yep that's right...breast removal is day surgery!! I will have a drainage tube in for about a week, won't that be fun! A nurse will come to the house once to show us how to drain the bag and then we're on our own! Lucky for us we know some medical professionals who will be ready and willing to help if/WHEN we need them!

Thinking back to when this all began, when it really started to get scary, I remember lying on my bed having a really good cry and thinking to myself "I'd better get used to seeing these four walls and spending hours upon hours in bed!" But that never happened. I was terrified of what lay ahead of me but soon realized that it wasn't so scary. I was afraid of losing my hair but I quickly learned to embrace baldness. I know that losing my hair and losing my breast are very different but I got through that and I will get through this!

I talked to my friend Michelle tonight. She's had the surgery already and because she is getting standard treatment she is currently going through radiation so she makes the round trip to the hospital everyday. I told her that my surgery is on Friday and we chatted about what I should expect. We decided that we should get together and chatt, so tomorrow night (Thursday) Paul and I are heading over to her place to visit! She actually lives pretty close to us. I'm very excited! Just in time!

The appointment we were supposed to have rescheduled with Dr. Richard doesn't look like it's going to happen. Her partner has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and she is taking care of that situation. I really wish she could fit us in because I know she could help me feel so much better about surgery. Actually......I'm trying to be nice about the situation, but I'm really ticked! And that's all I'll say on this topic.

Everyone tells me that I seem as though I'm handling it well and I guess on the outside it looks as though I am. But on the inside I'm scared shitless! Pardon my language but I am! What I want is for the next month to fly by! I just want to get passed this part and carry on with my life!

Well, I'll keep you posted! I'll blog again as soon as I can!